Inerrant Rampancy

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One Man’s Vice

…Is another man’s tax revenue generator.

The federal government has decided that things you don’t need are more taxable than things you do (story here), and may implement a new tax on things like beer, wine, liquor, and soda, in order to fund healthcare plans.

Now, I’m not a big drinker, I don’t smoke anymore, and I only partake in soda every great once-in-a-while; I’m also not all that worried about an extra $.07 a PBR. However, I hate the idea that certain items can be taxed more (and often times outrageously–cigarettes) just because “you don’t need them”. Who really gets to say what you do or don’t need? I’d really like to see some official studies about what them minimum requirements are for existence, in order of importance. That way, I could tell once and for all, what I really, truly “need”.

In lieu of such a study, I’ve compiled a list of things that should be taxed outrageously, as they are obviously not necessary to life. After seeing many homeless individuals, impoverished Americans, and dirt-poor residents of foreign countries, I’m pretty sure you do not need any of the following items:

1. A house
2. Shoes
3. Food that has not already had part of it eaten by someone else
4. Music
5. Television
6. Any beverage other than water
7. Transportation
8. Chairs
9. Tables
10. Utensils
11. Books
12. Movies
13. Electronics of any kind, unless they regulate some bodily function
14. Umbrellas
15. Hats
16. Hygiene products
17. Food that isn’t some kind of nutritionally complete paste
18. Internet
19. Phones
20. Computers

All you idiots who think that “sin taxes” are just fine, because the products they are levied on are “vices”, can just go ahead and start paying a whole lot more for your “necessities” because, guess what? They aren’t necessary at all. If I don’t need my beer, you don’t need your phone or your Internet or 90% of the other crap you would immediately start bitching about if the price went up due to a tax increase.

Enjoy your healthcare, you thieves.

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May 21, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

2 Comments »

  1. hi joe!
    i thought you might be interested in this if you haven’t already seen it.

    holy crap that’s a long link, anyway, the title is: “Chicago Tax Day Tea Party – What CNN Did Not Show You Behind The Scenes” if you have to google it.
    did you hear about the tea party protests? CNN painted the protesters as radical right wing racist baby eaters. it is interesting to see the whole story. someone at emerson actually told me about it, and i said, that sounds like a good idea, i don’t like taxachusetts and the federal government is too big, and she told me that i wouldn’t want to protest with them because they were crazy right wing radicals, “fanatics.” maybe she saw this segment on CNN.
    i like the sign that one guy is holding up “republicans suck too.” the tea party protest organization is trying to get CNN banned from playing in federally funded areas, like airports and train stations (where it runs uninterrupted 24/7).
    Maybe there should be a tax on CNN watching. It’s not necessary! Oh, that’s right, I forgot. They only want to tax things that they think BAD people do and good people watch CNN.
    Byee, Cat

    Comment by cat sears | May 26, 2009 | Reply

  2. oh cool, the video actually loaded in the comments box. i don’t know how that happened, but i like it. πŸ˜€

    Comment by cat sears | May 26, 2009 | Reply


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