Inerrant Rampancy

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It’s All About Priorities

…Right?

I’m only somewhat of a sports fan, enjoying college basketball (Go Illini!), hockey (Blackhawks!), and football from time to time (Da Bears!), so it’s hard for me to get really excited about any sporting event outside of those particular sports and teams. But I’ve always tried to be understanding, or at least tolerant, of those who are significantly more concerned with the various running, jumping, and throwing going on in the world. I get it, you like sports, and that’s cool. I like…new television shows? It’s hard to equate the fervor that some die-hard sports fans adopt during crucial moments-in-time like “the playoffs” or “pre-season” or “crunch time” to my giddy excitement over whatever new project on FOX Joss Whedon is in charge of.

My understanding and tolerance breaks down, however, when I read stories like this one, in which I am reaffirmed of all my disappointment in and distaste with humanity.

Apparently, in Pittsburgh there isn’t much to get excited about other than the upcoming Superbowl battle between the glorious Steelers and those inbred jacktards, the Cardinals (Arizona, in case you live under a rock). They are so excited, in fact, that they are starting school a full 2-hours later the morning after Superbowl Sunday, allowing the kids some extra time to recover from what will be the most glorious night in Pittsburgh’s history since…2003 when they did the same thing.

Yeah, sports are big out there in the Pitts, enough so that we have to give our younger generation time off to recuperate from the raucous celebration that will ensue should the Steelers win. It’s Pittsburgh, so I’m guessing the kids will be drunk by half-time and wicked hung-over the next morning, and a 2-hour delay will be both welcome and a good hedge against complete truancy on the part of those hardcore, pre-teen fans.

You may wonder why I’m upset at this at all, especially since it’s not my town. And it’s not like they’re closing down the school for a week to celebrate, right? Well, here’s the thing. There are celebratory moments and then there are stupid excuses to be lazy. Case in point: A few months ago we had a big day in this country, Election Day, where we made clear our desire for change, brought that change about (at least our end of it), and made a little bit of history. All in all, a good 24 hours. Did Pittsburgh push back the clock on November 5th so that the kids who anxiously stayed up late into the night on the 4th–eagerly awaiting the announcement of our next president, intent on watching as the US elected its first black (1/2 black, whatever) president, finally allowed to go to bed later because their parents understood the significance of the moment–could get some extra sleep after an emotionally draining evening?

No, they didn’t. NOBODY DID.

This was one of the most important events in our history, and kids had to get up at the same time the next day and go to their shitty public schools where they were taught how to cling to their guns and religion.

Come on, Pittsburgh parents and teachers, get a little perspective here. I know you love the Steelers. I get it. They’re the best, and Ben is awesome, and their defense is a terrifying, electrified-brick wall of interceptions and forced fumbles, but give me a break. Your kids are going to grow up thinking that football is more important than the real world (which football exists in, but is not representative of), dooming them to a life of over-sized authentic jerseys and foam hats and fingers.

Get your priorities straight, Pittsburgh… for the children.

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February 1, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Beautiful.

    Comment by KLajeunesse | February 1, 2009 | Reply


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