Inerrant Rampancy

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An Open Letter to CNN and FOX News

Dear idiots,

I understand that the next few days will be historical and that historical events are allowed their coverage on the major news networks. I can understand all-day coverage of the inauguration itself and even some coverage the day before, perhaps on the setup or on the various celebrities and political figures that will be attending. Hell, I would even be OK if you recapped the campaigns, ending the recap an hour or two before Obama delivers his speech. I do not deny that people are excited and rightfully so.

What I do not understand is why you are devoting nearly all of your air time to the inauguration a full three days before it is happening. Today is Saturday, the 17th, and, since it is a Saturday, television is terrible. I have learned to switch between college basketball and both CNN and FOX News (I like to keep things balanced), keeping myself entertained with sports and firmly grounded with the goings on in my country. Sadly, this year, my Alma mater doesn’t get a lot of air time where I am (my part of the country has an East Coast bias), and so today I thought I’d devote myself entirely to the news, broadening my horizons and feeding my head so that I could converse with my peers in an intelligent manner. But no, you ass-clowns are focused entirely on the long and completely asinine train ride that Obama is taking to DC, picking up Biden and delivering several unimportant speeches in the process.

Your continual worship of the man is mind-boggling, what with the countless other, more important, news stories you could be reporting on . The first station I turned to was CNN, so I thought they were just showing their liberal bias, but turning to FOX News Channel was no help, as they were showing the same ridiculous crap. Even one of the ESPN channels was showing Biden’s live speech from who-gives-a-fuck-ville during the half-time report! I can’t handle this.

You guys are supposed to provide us with information, not drivel. I have here a list of all the stories you should be reporting on (as gleaned from the Drudge Report). Please note that all of these are fairly serious issues.

1. Hertz Global Holdings Inc, targeted 21,000 jobs for termination.
2. Citi Group split after announcing quarterly losses of over 8 billion dollars.
3. Israel now plans a cease-fire, saying their goals have been achieved.
4. California is delaying the issuance of tax refunds, because it is broke.
5. The Midwest continues to be pummeled by intense cold.
6. The Federal Government is now the largest shareholder of Bank of America.

and even one bit of entertainment puffery that I’m still convinced is more important than Obama’s train ride…

7. Boy George is being jailed for 15 months for handcuffing a male escort to a wall and beating him with a chain.

Please, do not continue your idiotic worship-mongering. Again, I have no problems with normal amounts of coverage, but what you are doing is an uncanny mirror of the escapism overtaking this country. We have elected a new (and most likely better) President and we should be happy for that, and excited, and hopeful. But that does not give us the right to ignore the problems this country still faces, nor does it mean that those problems are immediately over. The man hasn’t even done anything yet, for cryin’ out loud!

Get your heads out of your asses and start doing your jobs. I’ll be waiting with my remote in hand.

-Joseph Pierandozzi

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January 17, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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