Inerrant Rampancy

Just another weblog


…Or, Market Tinkering at It’s Finest.


Xmas (my term for it since it has nothing to do with Christ anymore) is generally seen as a happy time, filled with merrymaking, and carol singing, and gift giving. And to a certain extent, it is. I notice that people (some people) are happier around this time of year and that there appears to be a better “vibe” (to use a word popular among my hippie friends) to the world, brought about by the various holiday-related activities. But this seems wrong to me. Why are we only happy for like, 2 months out of the year? How come this time of intense exuberance is so short? I figure it’s for one of two reasons. Either we’re faking it during the Xmas season, or we’re faking it the rest of the time.

In situation two, the question becomes, “Why are we faking our daily neuroses and depression?”. If the remaining 10 months of the year are the facade we put on to deal with the real world, then we are a bit messed up in that we spend most of our time pretending to  be miserable misanthropes, rather than being the charitable, happy people we really are. Perhaps we think we have to be this way? Perhaps we think the world demands a hardened exterior, a shell that keeps out the evils we think we will encounter on a daily basis? But those evils are a product of that same attitude in others, so the affectation of the same persona is counter-productive. Sure, it helps you deal with other people, but it prolongs the problem. This situation seems more far-fetched than the other, if only because I can’t imagine the energy it would take to keep that up for 10 months at a time. I mean, it’s not terribly difficult to be a jackass (I have experience) but to do it all the time is tough (even for a seasoned veteran like myself).

I’d have to say that it seems far more likely that the other situation is true, that the 2 months (or so) around Xmas are the theatrical months in which we fake it and fake it hard. And why not? On one hand we’ve already determined that it’s tough to be a jackass all the time (faking it or not) and so maybe we need a break every once in a while. Or maybe we need a reference point for our anger and depression; we have to remember what it means to be happy and nice before we can properly go back to being mean and miserable. Or maybe, and this seems most likely to me, we have to remind ourselves what we’re in for if we ever decide to stop being monsters. Can you imagine the Xmas season all year round? I’d shoot myself, but not before taking out as many other people as I possibly could. So why would we choose to perpetuate this wintery lie? Fact is, we don’t want to; we simply don’t have a choice.

Xmas is, by and large, the greatest economic scam ever forced on the American people.

Think about it: What could be less free-market than a holiday season in which people are required to purchase things they never would under normal circumstances? We constantly worry (those of us who aren’t socialists) about outside forces moving the “invisible hand” of the market (whether the hand is moved in a beneficial direction or not is moot, since any movement that isn’t a result of natural market forces is “bad” in an overall sense), and yet we allow ourselves to be coerced into market activity every year without protest! Social mores have demanded that we buy useless crap that we would otherwise consider unworthy of purchase for people we often don’t even know very well, let alone like, all so that we can feel “good about ourselves” and “charitable”.

Charity is socialism that’s not mandatory and is a good thing. The problem is that the Xmas season is quite decisively mandatory, at least if you want to spend those few months unbothered, and so in that instance charity becomes a forced distribution of wealth. It might be a good thing, this required charity, if it helps people overall, but it doesn’t. Sure, the economy does well, but at the expense of the rest of the year, when we slip back into our miserly ways, and besides, it’s a forced move, rather than a natural one, which means we’re messing with the mechanics of a system that works better for everyone if minimally managed. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s not worth it, all this fake merriment and mirth.

First off, think of all the religious intolerance we’re forced to endure. All this “War on Christmas” and “The Reason For the Season” crap that tries to claim 2 months out of the year in the name of an incredibly ignorant and thin percentage of the population is a stress inducer of the highest order. I’m not even talking about all those “God Hates Fags” groups (who, in the defense of reason and rationality, should have their 1st amendment rights revoked and be taken out back and shot, children and all), but just about your average Christian who either believes that he or she owns the month of December or is so ignorant that he or she believes that everyone celebrates Christmas, just like he or she does. Then there’s the non-religious parts of it: all the Santa, reindeer, elves, Frosty, Suzy Snowflake, Macy’s bullshit that gums up traffic and makes shopping malls a war zone and gets people trampled to death at Wal-Mart. Both aspects of the season make it positively unbearable for anyone with half a functioning brain, and make any apparent justification for the whole thing sound (accurately) retarded. Basically, I’m calling for a moratorium on the holidays, if not for our sanity, then at least for our economy. We’ve got to stop making thing worse before we can make them better.


December 23, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. First off, I buy gifts for the people I (hopefully) know best, the ‘rents and the sis. That’s it. Most of the time its either stuff they ask for or stuff I would buy for me. I bought my dad a TV for the kitchen, and my mom a book and some clothes from J. Crew. the sister got some dvd’s and who knows i may still end up getting her some other stuff.
    And on the flip side. I hate getting gifts. Anything I would want, I’d go out and buy myself. The whole season thing doesn’t make much sense, but seeing as I only had 2 days off of work, then yeah, not much of a season. Plus, when you’re dying at 90, seeing your family/grandkids is probably like crack. I would assume.

    Comment by Dirk Diggler | January 16, 2009 | Reply

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