Inerrant Rampancy

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Benevolence vs. Omnipotence

Ok, so here’s a thing I’ve been pondering about the nature of most gods.

Gods, in general, tend to have some specific qualities attributed to them, ranging from flight to complete perfection. They are not all universal qualities (I’m fairly certain there is a god somewhere whose only god-like ability is tying shoes…I mean, shear numbers, right?) but some of them have a wider distribution than others, i.e. omniscience, immortality, omnipotence, benevolence, non-temporal relegation. In particular, I’d like to talk about two qualities normally attributed to the Christian god, though by no means exclusive to him: Benevolence and Omnipotence.

Benevolence means that this god is all-good. He does nothing that is evil, is not evil himself and did not create evil. His actions are good actions, exclusively. He thinks happy thoughts.

Omnipotence means all-powerful. He is able to create and destroy all, is bound by no physical laws, is infinite in his power, and is indestructible. He can nuke a burrito so hot than even he cannot eat, but then he’ll eat it anyway.

My contention here is that these two cannot exist together in the same being. The argument is simple and not original, and only requires one admission: that evil exists in the world.

So, if evil exists, then it must have been created.

If man (or some other god) created evil and god did not, then man is more powerful than god because he is able to create something god cannot. If this is true then god is not omnipotent.

If god created evil, then he is not benevolent, though he may still be omnipotent.

Also, if man (or some other god) created evil and god did not, then god is STILL not benevolent, for allowing it to continue. He’s weak AND mean.

Given the option, I would think believers in this god would pick the lesser of two evils (pun) and go with “god created evil and is not benevolent”. He is still all-powerful; he is also an asshole.

But what if we continue on?

If it is the case that god is omnipotent, then he cannot be omniscient. To be omniscient would be to know all that will happen. If god knows all that will happen then all that will happen MUST happen and god cannot change that, therefore he is no longer omnipotent. He’s a weak jerk again. But at least he’s really really smart.

But if THAT’S the case, that god is some genius, douchebag, girly-man, then he must get his ass-kicked by someone on a regular basis because, let’s face it, no one would put up with some know-it-all, 98-pound weakling with an attitude problem. And if that’s true then god isn’t omniscient because he would totally see that ass-whupping coming and go hide in the back seat of his brother’s convertible until his brother got out of football practice and drove him home.

So now god’s a wimpy, jerk-face who doesn’t have enough common sense to not go home with an atomic wedgie every afternoon and we all know that that CANNOT be god since we’re pretty sure that guy runs some huge software company and has a net worth in the billions AND continually releases terrible PC operating systems that require constant upgrading and rebooting and reinstalling (which only further illustrates his non-omniscience) and which are bundled with your laptop automatically unless you pay extra for linux….

Well, you get the picture. Quite obviously the omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent god does not exist and Bill Gates is a fucktard.



December 4, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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